Have you ever had those moments where your dreams lead you down paths of insanity, yet leave you wishing you were still there?
There I was, running down a forest hallway (you know what I mean, the open space that parts down the dark forest with a deep green carpet and bright red, orange, yellow, and brown leaves here and there) and he was following me. Almost catching up to me. I could not wait til he caught up to me.
But then there was an emergency that he had to deal with. He wouldn’t be him if he didn’t deal with it, so he backed off and disappeared into the darkness of the forest hallway dream. Blending into blackness.
I just wanted him to come back and catch up with me. I’m still waiting for him to come and catch up with me.
That dream
is following me more and more each day. I long for some guy to come and find me. I don’t know why I’m alone or have been alone for so long. I do not know why the guys I’m attracted to aren’t attracted to me. There could be numerous reasons why, but the truth of the matter is that even with my flaws, I am a pretty cool person and my friends love me.
Instead of fading into blackness, or a few brightly colored fallen leaves, I want someone to catch up with me and remain even with me. Before I forget what the feeling of love is like.
It’s been six months since I’ve been near any guys around my age-ish. Which has been nice, giving me time to sort out my priorities and
get moving on my life. (Which has been a mess. Still is a bit.) Now though, I see a lot of my friends having kids and getting proposals and I am around my brother and his girlfriend a lot more. Too much reality of romance in my life. It makes me wonder if I will ever feel that burbling of love that makes me giddy.
I miss that feeling.
But maybe this all just a culmination of the chick flick I watched last night. In the dark. Which contained many nature settings. The random firings of my brain at night latching on to the last crush I had.
Either way… I wish I was still there.
I find myself lost 